About Me

Gemma Benefer. Radio Enthusiast. Feminist. Hard-worker and Perfectionist. Lover of Music, Camping, Musical Theatre and Films. Bookworm.

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Going the Distance

For the duration of my time at university, I've been doing the whole long-distance relationship thing with my other half of nearly 4 years (in June). To my utter bewilderment, he proposed to be on our 3 year anniversary last year in June and we're still going strong! We're both starting to get excited at the thought of planning the wedding and beginning our future together as a couple minus the distance! The thought of never having to go a week or more without seeing him is getting so close and it's something that I know I'll value everyday. 

Going the distance for anyone is hard. Whether it's your other half, your sibling whose moved to the other side of the world or your parents who are forever working abroad, it's awful not being able to see the ones you love as regular as you'd like, and it's not the easiest of things either. 

When I first moved to uni back in 2011, Matt (the lovely fiance of mine) decided to stay in Hull and I was moving to Lincoln for our studies. The first year was by far the hardest, I think it's the most we've ever argued! There were times when I didn't think we'd make it through, mainly down to the distance and the fact that our studies often clashed - especially when I'd be out on the night or he'd have work and we could go a couple of days without talking. But regardless, whenever we had a bad day (more often me than him!) he'd always be on the other end of the phone or he'd make me laugh over skype and it'd be great. Each day, I'd be so grateful that despite the difficult circumstances, he'd always be there if and when I needed him without hesitation. 

I'd love to be able to tell you the success as to how we've managed these past few years apart. In all honesty, a lot of it has been down to him visiting me as I usually haven't had the time or the transport to return home. But I think that without us both contributing to the relationship, whether it's a random phone call, or a surprise visit or even little treats like beer, chocolates or flowers, I don't think we'd have worked out. It takes two to make a relationship work and the same passion and enthusiasm helps to make it a good one.

This last year has been one of the smoothest years for the both of us. We haven't always managed to see each other every weekend, but I have the most amazing housemates who are always there to make me laugh and keep me busy and similarly, our friends back in Hull have been great to Matt if he can't get down. Our families have helped us out from time to time, whether it's offering lifts or letting us stay over etc... Though it's mine and Matt's relationship, a lot of people have been there to support us through the hardest times and I'm so thankful to each and every one of them. 

To sum up - WARNING, soppy section - I feel very lucky to have fallen for my best friend and most importantly someone who has shown me how to be a better me. Without his guidance and his help I don't think I would have done as well as I have done recently and it's always good to know that he has my back. He's an amazing guy and I wouldn't change him for the world. We're bound to disagree at times, but it's how you solve them and get over them that helps the relationship to bloom!

Like I say, it hasn't been the easiest of journeys to be separated from your other half, but if we can do it, I'm sure others can do it too. It's helped our trust and strength in each other and though I know we can manage without the other, we know we're a lot happier together. If anyone has any advice for wedding planning it'd be much appreciated! Here's to our next part of the journey together :-) 



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